Sitting on the Curb

This morning I got a text from my niece saying she was sick and needing a hot chocolate. So being the sucker of an Aunt i am, i immediately went to Starbucks to get her one. Since she was sick i didn't want to bring Ava inside, so Daniel drove around the block while i dropped off the goods. I was inside for maybe 5 minutes and when Daniel came back to get me there was something sticking outside of the trunk. Daniel is known for loving free things. People used to make fun of him and say that he would even take a bloody mattress on the side of the road. So as I walk to the car with a " What is in our trunk?" look on my face, Daniel quickly began explaining himself. As he was circling the block He saw a baby bike trailer next to a trash can sitting on the curb. So he pulled over and asked the woman cleaning out her garage if he could have it. She said it was broken, but Daniel wanted it any way. This thing looked so nasty! Covered in cob webs and leaves, brown from dirt, and a rip on one of the sides.

Once we got home Daniel started trying to get it all together. There were a few times where we thought it was unfix-able, but in the end he got it put together! I couldn't believe it, he got it all together. So i washed it (a few times), and then he hooked it up to the bike and tried it out. It is like new! He is on his way to fill up the tires with air and then off we go on a family bike ride!

Watching Daniel work on it, trying to figure out how it all fit, and trying things different ways made me realize something. That at some point, we are all left sitting on the curb. That our souls get so beat up and dirty that someone, or we ourselves, just sit by the trash can and wait to be thrown away. But the incredible thing is that with patience and a little elbow grease, God makes us brand new. He sees past the cob webs and tears to the deepest parts of us. And if we let him take us, he can get us back on the road again.

Ephesians 2:10

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."

The Good ol' Days

  I recently moved back to the small town I grew up in. In the weeks leading up to the move I began arriving on my expectations of how it would be when we got here. I thought it would be awkward to see people, like a time warp. People living in the past and not going anywhere with their lives. But to my surprise, I was wrong. I am finding that I am truly enjoying being here, re-connecting with people, taking my daughter to the parks I used to play at, and spending more quality time with my family.
  Today I had a lunch date with some old friends from High School, and I was nervous. I hadn't seen them since I had my daughter, and I expected it to be awkward. I thought that since we hadn't spent time together in so long that we would just reminisce on the past and talk about people from the old days and where they are now. Once again, I was pleasantly surprised. I had a great time talking about what everyone is doing, what they want to do, and the dreams they have. I realized that my insecurities about what I assumed people would say almost kept me from having a great lunch with great friends.
  This whole situation made me think of what Jesus musty have felt traveling from town to town. I wonder if He ever worried about what people were going to think or ask Him. What would He think when He visited home, or saw someone He grew up with?
  I guess we really are created in His image.


Photo Courtesy of: openreflections.com

Discipline, or lack there of

Discipline. Something I am terrible at. My goal for life is to have it. I come up with ideas or things I want to do and I never follow though. I think it is because I have a lack of discipline in my life. So, today is the day that I have decided to stop that train of lazy I have been riding on... Follow through, here I come.
First order of business, share great things I have heard of. Today is a day without shoes. Toms.com is asking people to so without shoes today to bring awareness to those who don't have the luxury of shoes. I think It's an awesome idea, if you agree, please participate.
Next... Music. The joy of my soul. My husband introduced me to the greatest website ever. TheSixtyOne.com It is a website for Indie music. The only way you can post your music is if you are unsigned. There are awesome ways to filter what you listen to, quests you can go on, and incredible music to be heard. Take a listen.
That is all for me this time, but in my efforts to have more discipline, I will be posting regularly. Every Thursday morning. We will see how it goes.


*** Photo courtesy of Toms.com

Yet another Dream

I had a dream last night that shook me so hard core. I wont go into details, because just writing it in my journal took 5 pages. It was a long one. But the thing I am realizing from said dream is that even though I was saying I wanted to hear what God had for me and I was constantly crying out to Him to speak, I never postured myself in a way to hear. He had to use my subconscious dream to speak to me. It wasn't the exact answer I wanted, but it was Him telling me something huge that I need to learn. I feel so silly. Looking back on the past few weeks most of my day was spent whining about how i didn't think God was going to ever answer me. But it's because my thoughts and actions were displaying a different set of attitudes. Not one of patiently seeking. But of irritatingly nagging. Sorry about that one God.
I woke up at the end of my dream to Ava crying. And when I realized what was going on I couldn't figure out if my dream had truly happened or not. I was tired and sweaty, as if i was active... But i was laying in my bed. I looked at Daniel and started telling him my dream. He was a good husband, he stayed awake even though he was so exhausted. I guess the point of this blog is more for me. I am realizing that most of the time I ask God for something and i don't posture myself in the right way. It isn't the same way every time, but making it a priority to be ready to hear or receive makes all the difference.


*** Photo Courtesy of theaestheticelevator.files.wordpress.com/2008

The rambling of my mind

The past few days it has felt nearly impossible to think a complete thought, let alone a creative one. Like my brain went on sabbatical and didn't inform me. I have been on a quest of sorts to find out who I am and what I desire to be and achieve. Maybe the thoughts have stopped coming because I have overused my brain. Every moment of my day is filled with the most precious tiny person I know. Seeing her smile brings joy so deeply to my soul I find it hard to focus on much else. Watching her discover and explore life for the first time is so inspiring, I love to see her reaction to the world.
In a more focused line of thought, I have been reading through the book of Matthew recently and today I read Chapter 11. This is the part that struck me, "28Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." I have read these verses many times before, but I realized something new this time around. He says to take His yoke upon you and you will find rest for your soul. I think most often we take from these verses is that if you follow Jesus He will take your burdens and give you a peace in your soul. But what I realized is that in Verse 29 it says " Take up my yoke". We still have to work. We are still plowing. It may be "easier" and we wont have to worry about our eternity, but we still have to work. We now are partnering with Jesus to carry some of His load. He will give our souls rest because they now belong to him, but the hard stuff isn't over.
This shook me from the depths of my being. I always felt like that verse implies Jesus just coming behind and fixing everything and making my life gumdrops and roses. Now that I realize what He is really saying it hits much deeper. I feel a sense of urgency and desire to carry that yoke with Him. To take part in the work that is before Him. I love finding out new things about the God that I am so deeply in love with. He is always making things new and relevant.

Lookin' Good...

Last night Daniel and I had the privilege to help our sister in law lead worship at a Prophetic Prayer Meeting. I was extremely nervous, because I haven't sang in public since before I had Ava. It has been over 4 months and I was worried I "lost it". As the set began the Prophetic Speaker was sitting right in front of me. I was so worried about her realizing I was nervous and not focused on worship. So I began to put on a really good worship "show". Making deep thinking faces, really stretching out my arms... And then it hit me. She is Prophetic, she can see right through me. I felt so dumb...
Once we were home, I began thinking about it more. I was putting on a Spiritual show for a Prophetic woman. It just sounded funny in my head. But then it hit me. God is the ultimate Prophet, the All Knowing Creator, and yet we put on Spiritual shows for him all the time. Why do we think that we are able to pull the hypothetical wool over God's eyes? He can tell when we don't mean what we say or when we are pretending to worship. Looking back on it, I realized I do that more often then I thought I had. On Sunday mornings during worship I am actually thinking about how dirty my house is or how mad I was at someone. Not at how great my God is. Now don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when we don't feel like worshiping but we have to push into God any way. That's not what I'm talking about. I mean when you are so distracted with other stuff you just pretend.
Everyday I need to wake up and think Authentically. Tell God how I really feel. If I am struggling, then let it show. I know it would sure relieve a lot of stress in my life. Having to pretend all the time is exhausting, so I am going to live Authentically with my God.

Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat

It's been quite a while, i know. I'm still learning how to adjust to life as a mother. I am finding that the smallest tasks, once finished, can be so rewarding. For instance, There was a pile of receipts on our Kitchen counter for nearly 3 weeks. Every time I walked by i would think "As soon as I finish what I am doing, I am going to put those receipts away". It never happened, at least not until last night. But once I had finally completed my Oh-so-tiny task, I felt so accomplished! I chalked yesterday up as a definite win!
Now for something more interesting... I have found myself consumed with thoughts of Joseph today. And not Joseph in general, specifically his Coat of Many Colors. For some crazy reason, I truly desired to have a coat like that for myself. I even asked Ava if she wanted one. (Of course she responded with a "YES", at least that was what I thought her babbles sounded like.) As my dreams of a Technicolor Coat continued through the day I also began thinking of whether or not Joseph ever missed his coat. The descriptions I have heard of this coat would lead me to believe that it is just too extraordinary to just forget it. Can you picture Joseph and Pharaoh sitting together and looking out over all of Egypt and Joseph turns to Pharaoh and says " Have I told you about the Coat I used to have?".
Here is where I have arrived. I think the Coat can be looked at as not only a status symbol, but as a metaphor into our lives. Joseph loved the Coat, people envied him, and at the same time that he lost his Coat, his world seemed to crash down around him. He was in a pit, then a slave, then in jail, ultimately arriving in Egypt where he became BFF's with Pharaoh. He was being used by God in such a real way. So, how do I get used by God in a real way? I have to shed my Magnificent Coat of Many Colors. Relinquish what I hold dear and value. Then let God humble me in a crazy real way, so he can then build me back up to achieve more then I could have ever imagened. So give up the Coat already...