Wednesday, June 30, 2010

New Life

  Oh, new life. It is so crazy! I don't know how God makes it work, but having a baby is one of the greatest miracles I've ever experienced. The reason I'm writing about this is because some good friends of ours had thier first child last night. A baby Girl 7lbs 2oz and 18in long born at 8:36pm. They haven't picked a name yet, but man, she is beautiful! (The Picture is Ava, not their daughter) Unfortunately, we couldn't be there. One of the downsides from leaving San Diego is missing important events in our friends lives. But via texting, we felt like we were there.
  As Daniel and I went to bed last night we were talking about our own child birth experience. How we felt when we were in the Hospital, what was going on that day, wondering what her name was going to be, and how long the whole thing was going to take. Then we looked back at the day we brought her home and how we felt about being new parents. Fast forward a year and we have an energetic little girl who would never think about letting me just hold her and stare at her. She has places to go... People to see. It has gone by so fast, yet, so slow. I know that sounds super cliche, but It's how I'm feeling. In some respects I feel like It went by so fast that I couldn't absorb everything going on. Then on the other hand I wonder how It was possible to do all that we have done in the past year. All I know is that I love that tiny dancer of mine, and I hope things slow down just a little bit so I can soak it all in.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Not A Bachelorette

  So I must admit, I have a bit of a guilty pleasure.... I watch The Bachelorette!! And when I saw watch it, I mean stop whatever I am doing and stare at it in all it's cheesy glory! As I was watching it tonight and reading the little profile they give about each guy, I noticed something. Most of them are Daniel's age. It tripped me out. There lives are in such a different place then His. He has been married for 3 years and has a daughter, and they're on a dating show trying their darnedest  to find a wife. Wow. I am thankful that we aren't there. I am thankful that I didn't have to wait so long to find my husband. I can't imagen what my life would be like without Him. He is truly incredible.

  As silly as the show may be, it has reminded me of just how wonderful Daniel is. He is the greatest Daddy to Ava. She is so in love with him, and he is most definitely wrapped around her finger. I need to love and honor that man more then I do. Show him how thankful I am to be married to my very best friend. I am a lucky lady.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I Shall Jogg & Take Photos

  Well, we can all thank Zooey Deschanel's character in "Yes Man" for a great new idea. A Jogging Photography Group... Yep, I said it. A Jogging Photography group. I shall jog and take photos. Sounds pretty great if you ask me. Her character in this movie is incredible, reminds me a lot of Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in "Stranger Than Fiction". A little off beat, colorful, unique, and totally comfortable with who they are. LOVE it. Want to be that way.
  This morning at Church the person who spoke was a congregant who is going to be moving to Tennessee soon. He talked about his life, and how he got to where he is now. He said a lot of very poignant things, but one thing in particular struck me. He talked about [The Thin String]. Looking back on your life there is a thin string of events, and each one affected the outcome. Every conversation you have had with a stranger, every trip you have taken, every decision you have made has collectively determined how your string looks. He said to look back on your string and assess where it is going. If your sting is heading in a bad direction, then maybe change things. Do something different. He also said to be conscious of the fact that you affect other peoples strings. That really got me. I have never thought about that before. The way I live my life and the things I say and do to people can affect their string. No pressure, right?
   The last thing he said was a quote from a friend of His, and it was pretty intense. He said, "If people rally believed in Hell the way it is described in the Bible, they would be running to their friends and trying to save them." It made me evaluate how I have been living. I think it's time for a change.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

I Will Accomplish What I Desire

I think today is all about commitment. Deciding I want something and sticking with it until I achieve my goal! Short and Simple, but i feel like for this topic you don't need lots of words to explain yourself.
"So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11. I am feeling a renewed sense of ability. God has put it in me and now I am going to try and keep it going. That verse in Isaiah is motivating. I love the part that says "but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it". I know that I can do anything, so I will. What is it that you are wanting to achieve? What do you desire most for yourself? I would love to hear what you have to say.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

On my Journey

  My life up to this point hasn't left much room for self discovery. I opted out of the "College Experience" - It just wasn't for me. I got married at 19 to the most incredible guy I know. I had my daughter when I was 21 and now I am living in the town i grew up in running a Young Adults group with my Husband. Through it all I have changed a lot. My favorite band has changed, my favorite color has changed, and I've even changed my hair a few times. However, I still don't feel like I know who I really am, or what I really want to do with my life.
  Now don't get me wrong, I have purpose. I know I am supposed to be a great mom to Ava and a great wife to Daniel. But what I am talking about is not knowing the things that I desire to do, that make me feel fulfilled and alive. Like I am accomplishing something for myself. And in order to know those things, I think I should know myself.
  Recently Daniel and I went and got tattoos for our anniversary, and I feel like that has given me the self-exploration push that I need. He got a verse from Song of Solomon written out on the under side of his bicep and I got a picture of an apple tree. It comes from the verse in Song of Solomon 2:3 "As an apple tree among the trees of the forest so is my beloved among young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow and his fruit was sweet to my taste." I have always wanted a tattoo and felt like it would help me express myself better. And it has. I feel like I am becoming more of the person I want to be. Now I just need to figure out the rest of it, but I have some ideas. 
  I love:
  - Writing
  - Painting
  - Singing
  - Photography

And other stuff, but I kind of feel silly listing it all. So here I go. I am on my journey of self discovery. Wish me luck, and I'll let you know how it's going.

Grace and Peace

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Seek Him Out

  Last Friday we got our first pet! A kitten that we named Macska. It is the Hungarian word for cat... Creative, I know. He was 7 weeks old and full of energy. He and Ava were infatuated with each other, following one another around. But as they days went on and her became more comfortable, he started attacking Ava's legs as she would walk around. Then, in retaliation, Ava would pick him up by whatever limb she could find. Needless to say, the once love shared turned into a hostile relationship.
  Inevitably we decided for the sake of the kitten and Ava, that we needed to find him a new home. Which was much easier then I thought it was going to be. Today is the first day without the little terror running rampant but I must say, I miss him. Even though his favorite game was attacking feet, he was still very cute and lovable. I got attached to the little guy. It made me think about how easily we can get emotionally attached to things. And how easily God gets attached to you.
  God is obviously already attached to us... He created us. But as we continue to spend time with Him I feel like His love and attachment must continue growing. But on the other hand, what does He feel when we blatantly walk away from Him. When we try to detach ourselves from our creator. If I am this sad about letting go of a cat I had for 5 days, I can't imagine the deep sorrow God must feel when we walk away from Him.
  So today instead of just going about my usual business and knowing in the back of my mind God is there, I am going to seek Him out. Let Him know how attached I am to Him.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Fear of the Unkown

   We recently took Ava to the Doctor for her one year appointment, and found out that her teeth are coming in funny because she sucks on a pacifier. The doctor encouraged us to try and wean her off of it soon. That was a month ago, and she is still using it... Well, not any more. This morning as Ava starting showing her usual signs of her being ready for a nap I found myself oddly motivated to get her to sleep without her pacifier. Now, this may sound like a small thing, but you have to understand just how attached she was to it in the first place. Her pacifier was her best friend, she had to have it in the car, she had to have it if she got hurt, she had to have it if she wasn't feeling well, and she HAD to have it to fall asleep. 
   So back to this mornings nap... Filled with courage I try the impossible task of getting her to sleep without her rubbery best friend. And how does it go? Amazingly! She cried less then when I try and put her down with her pacifier. I feel like she was ready to be done with it, but needed us to make the decision. I didn't want to take it away because then she wouldn't be a baby any more. At least, that's what I thought. But she hasn't been a baby for a long time. She is a big girl now. A big girl that no longer needs her pacifier. 
   I was so scared of how bad I thought it was going to be, I hindered her from being free of it. The fear of the unknown can be debilitating, but ultimately it is freeing. There is no more thoughts of "What if?" or "How can I?". You just do it, and handle the outcome as it happens. I must say, having done it, making the decision and then following through, I feel incredible! 

* Image Courtesy of:

Monday, June 21, 2010

All the joy that one soul can handle.

  My life seems to get more hectic every day. With the recent addition of a kitten, it seems nearly impossible to get ordinarily simple things completed. I have had a load of laundry in my washing machine for the past 12 hours... I should probably tend to that, shouldn't I?
  And even though life seems to be a little out of hand, I still find myself wanting more. How is that possible you ask? Well, I'm not sure even I know the answer to that. I know some things are not important. Like when I look around at the peripheral people in my life, those are the people you know and are Facebook friends with but never talk to, I find myself wishing that I had the things they had. Or did the things that they do. Even though they are meaningless to most of the world, I still find myself wishing I could have what they have.
  Then there are the true desires of my heart. The things I lay awake at night wishing and praying for. Some of them are great things that could help people, some are just silly self pleasing dreams I carry around in my head. I am now finding myself plagued with those dreams all the time. It is no longer a late night thought, but a daily desire to be more, see more, and achieve more. As I walk out what these dreams are and how to make them into a potential reality, I am thinking more and more about the verse in Phillipians 4 that talks about being content in all things...
   So am i being content? Am I happy with where I am and thankful for what I have.. Or am I just selfishly longing for things that could bring more money or fame? I think They balance is still pursing the dreams that God has placed inside of you, without placing all your self worth in them. Still be thankful for what you have, but continue to live a life striving for more. Never be lackluster. Pursue the greatness that God has put inside you and do that with the comfort and joy of knowing that no matter what comes of it, you have already won. You already have all that you could ever need. All the joy that one soul can handle. Because you will know how to find it in the smallest things.
Thanks for checking out my blog. The writings found on these pages are just sincere thoughts, questions, and feelings I have about life, God, and banana slugs.