I Wouldn't Let Go

  So here's the thing. I haven't let go. That is, until a few days ago. If you read my story about the ordeal with Owen, then you are all caught up. He started shaking. I called the Doctor, she feared seizures and sent us to the ER. We waited and waited to see a neurologist and after seeing one we were told Owen was self soothing. All should be better, right? It should. But I wouldn't let go.

I wouldn't let go.

   I let fear win. I let fear take over my emotions. I let fear disrupt my family. I let fear dictate my thoughts and actions. I shouldn't have. We saw multiple Doctors and had tests run and all came back fine, but I didn't want to believe that. A dear friend knew I was struggling with letting go of my fear and called to say, "Trust. Trust what the Doctors are saying. We prayed for answers and a clear report for Owen and you got that. Now trust it." After listening to that message and thinking about it for the next few days I realized I was choosing fear. Every morning, I would wake up and choose it, and carry it with me the whole day. I would let fear weigh me down.

   God walks us through trials and when we're on the other side, we have a choice. We can rejoice in the Lord and thank Him for bringing us through. Or, do what I did. Choose fear. Hold onto doubt and worry, let anxiousness overwhelm our hearts and minds.

    So today, instead of carrying fear of  "What if" I will rejoice in the victory. 

- Grace & Peace