Saturday, September 26, 2009

Lookin' Good...

Last night Daniel and I had the privilege to help our sister in law lead worship at a Prophetic Prayer Meeting. I was extremely nervous, because I haven't sang in public since before I had Ava. It has been over 4 months and I was worried I "lost it". As the set began the Prophetic Speaker was sitting right in front of me. I was so worried about her realizing I was nervous and not focused on worship. So I began to put on a really good worship "show". Making deep thinking faces, really stretching out my arms... And then it hit me. She is Prophetic, she can see right through me. I felt so dumb...
Once we were home, I began thinking about it more. I was putting on a Spiritual show for a Prophetic woman. It just sounded funny in my head. But then it hit me. God is the ultimate Prophet, the All Knowing Creator, and yet we put on Spiritual shows for him all the time. Why do we think that we are able to pull the hypothetical wool over God's eyes? He can tell when we don't mean what we say or when we are pretending to worship. Looking back on it, I realized I do that more often then I thought I had. On Sunday mornings during worship I am actually thinking about how dirty my house is or how mad I was at someone. Not at how great my God is. Now don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when we don't feel like worshiping but we have to push into God any way. That's not what I'm talking about. I mean when you are so distracted with other stuff you just pretend.
Everyday I need to wake up and think Authentically. Tell God how I really feel. If I am struggling, then let it show. I know it would sure relieve a lot of stress in my life. Having to pretend all the time is exhausting, so I am going to live Authentically with my God.
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

No comments:

Thanks for checking out my blog. The writings found on these pages are just sincere thoughts, questions, and feelings I have about life, God, and banana slugs.