The Holy Spirit. It's something you hear spoken about on the regular at Church. Or by your parents. Or in songs. But what is it? What does it mean for me? How is it something I am able to attain?
The past few weeks I have thought over this topic repetitively. Reading scripture, praying, and trying to just wrap my head around it. The crazy thing is, my whole life prior to the past few weeks I've never thought twice about the Holy Spirit. It's like, " Can you please pass the Ketchup. Oh yea, the Holy Spirit, it's part of the trinity." Ok, maybe not in that order. But none the less, it has been a well comprehended biblical aspect my whole life. For some reason though, as of late, It isn't good enough to just know it's there. To just have this power sitting in my pocket and not doing anything with it. I'll just go to battle and bring a bazooka, but put it in my pocket and not use it. I would prefer to fight with a harmonica. What?!? That's so dumb. It's there. It's real. And it's unused.
Being a worship leader I "feel" the spirit often. I quoted the word feel because It's not a feeling like when you high five someone and there is tangible touch, it's more of a sway in my soul that feels different. I know I'm not making a lot of sense now. Moving on.... Feeling the spirit in the room while leading worship or when praying is awesome but not what I'm searching for. I know the Lord is with me. Present in my life always. I know he is around. What I am searching for is how do I attain the Spirit of the Lord....
Here is what I think God is showing me-
In the new testament when It talks about tongues of fire falling down on the heads of the disciples, it says they were "filled" with the Holy Spirit. Meaning, it was dwelling in them. It being, The Holy Spirit. Say What?!? They were all sitting together waiting on the Lord to do something and He filled them with his Spirit. Ok, so how do I get it? Is there a line? Like at the post office when you walk in and grab a number? "Excuse me sir, I think I was here first..." So as I am reading over this story and wondering how to get it I feel like the Lord told me something big. "Is there room for me in your spirit?" I sat there for a minute wondering if there was, until I realized there wasn't. My spirit was full of worry, pride, selfishness, and contentment. I had been praying for the Holy Spirit to fill me and move in me like He did with the disciples but I wasn't giving God room to do it. My Spirit needs to be ready for him. I need to regularly check and clear out my spirit so that there is room for the Lord to fill me. To use me.