Saturday, September 26, 2009

Lookin' Good...

Last night Daniel and I had the privilege to help our sister in law lead worship at a Prophetic Prayer Meeting. I was extremely nervous, because I haven't sang in public since before I had Ava. It has been over 4 months and I was worried I "lost it". As the set began the Prophetic Speaker was sitting right in front of me. I was so worried about her realizing I was nervous and not focused on worship. So I began to put on a really good worship "show". Making deep thinking faces, really stretching out my arms... And then it hit me. She is Prophetic, she can see right through me. I felt so dumb...
Once we were home, I began thinking about it more. I was putting on a Spiritual show for a Prophetic woman. It just sounded funny in my head. But then it hit me. God is the ultimate Prophet, the All Knowing Creator, and yet we put on Spiritual shows for him all the time. Why do we think that we are able to pull the hypothetical wool over God's eyes? He can tell when we don't mean what we say or when we are pretending to worship. Looking back on it, I realized I do that more often then I thought I had. On Sunday mornings during worship I am actually thinking about how dirty my house is or how mad I was at someone. Not at how great my God is. Now don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when we don't feel like worshiping but we have to push into God any way. That's not what I'm talking about. I mean when you are so distracted with other stuff you just pretend.
Everyday I need to wake up and think Authentically. Tell God how I really feel. If I am struggling, then let it show. I know it would sure relieve a lot of stress in my life. Having to pretend all the time is exhausting, so I am going to live Authentically with my God.
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Friday, September 18, 2009

Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat

It's been quite a while, i know. I'm still learning how to adjust to life as a mother. I am finding that the smallest tasks, once finished, can be so rewarding. For instance, There was a pile of receipts on our Kitchen counter for nearly 3 weeks. Every time I walked by i would think "As soon as I finish what I am doing, I am going to put those receipts away". It never happened, at least not until last night. But once I had finally completed my Oh-so-tiny task, I felt so accomplished! I chalked yesterday up as a definite win!
Now for something more interesting... I have found myself consumed with thoughts of Joseph today. And not Joseph in general, specifically his Coat of Many Colors. For some crazy reason, I truly desired to have a coat like that for myself. I even asked Ava if she wanted one. (Of course she responded with a "YES", at least that was what I thought her babbles sounded like.) As my dreams of a Technicolor Coat continued through the day I also began thinking of whether or not Joseph ever missed his coat. The descriptions I have heard of this coat would lead me to believe that it is just too extraordinary to just forget it. Can you picture Joseph and Pharaoh sitting together and looking out over all of Egypt and Joseph turns to Pharaoh and says " Have I told you about the Coat I used to have?".
Here is where I have arrived. I think the Coat can be looked at as not only a status symbol, but as a metaphor into our lives. Joseph loved the Coat, people envied him, and at the same time that he lost his Coat, his world seemed to crash down around him. He was in a pit, then a slave, then in jail, ultimately arriving in Egypt where he became BFF's with Pharaoh. He was being used by God in such a real way. So, how do I get used by God in a real way? I have to shed my Magnificent Coat of Many Colors. Relinquish what I hold dear and value. Then let God humble me in a crazy real way, so he can then build me back up to achieve more then I could have ever imagened. So give up the Coat already...
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Thanks for checking out my blog. The writings found on these pages are just sincere thoughts, questions, and feelings I have about life, God, and banana slugs.