Friday, August 20, 2010

Notice Me

  Last Wednesday night @ The Response we had our friends Andrew and Kelly share about their journey that God is taking them on. So rad. One of the things that Andrew said struck me. He talked about his first year at Masters Commission ( A intense 9 month discipleship program) and how one of the leaders said that every day she tried as hard as she can to make a difference and peruse God, because when she gets to heaven she wants God to notice her. Crazy right? I've never thought about going to heaven like that before. But I get it, when I arrive I want God to see me and be so excited that I am there. Seek me out in the crowd. Now don't get me wrong, I know I'll get a high five and a nice to see you, but what I'm looking for is intentional seeking out and joy to see me. Heavy.
  I came home that night with that thought ringing in my head, and trying to figure out how I can achieve that. Then I thought of a sermon that Pastor Jack Hayford gave a long time ago that I just heard for the first time a little while back. He talked about a friend of his that kept a journal every day of what he had done. So at night right before bed, he would spend a few minutes writing down everything he had done that day. Keeping stock of his life. He did it or different reasons then I am suggesting, but I still think It's a great idea. If every night I write down what I had accomplished that day It would force me to take stock of my life. I would realize how much time I had wasted on something insignificant or maybe find time to do something that could make a difference.
  I don't know, maybe I'm crazy. But I want God to notice me in the crowd. So I am going to do it, keep a journal every day of what I've done. Keep myself accountable, so I can do something greater with my life. Something I know God would be proud of.

Grace and Peace

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Saturday, August 14, 2010

Anxiously Awaiting

   We are down in San Diego this weekend for my dear friend Lacey's wedding. I am so excited for her and her fiance Zac... They are quite the power couple! The weeks leading up to this trip I started counting down days because I was so excited to be here. After moving away 4 months ago I haven't been able to be a part of a lot of the things my friends and family who live here do. Especially this wedding. The thing you must understand about said wedding is this... It is going to be the Party of the Century. Every detail is perfect, they have crazy unique ideas for stuff, and they are just rad people which means there will be rad fun! So back to my point... I have been counting down days to get here so I could attend the biggest day of one of the closest friends life! (Side note- I just yelled that last sentence out in my head. Just as if I were a 5 year old explaining something) 
   So today is the day. We have reached the end of the glorious wedding belled countdown. And how might I be feeling you ask? Anxious!!!! I am so excited to go to the wedding, that I am convinced time has slowed down. This day will just not move along. So here's the deal, Philippians 4:6 says " Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God." True. Very good point. But I feel like there is a good anxiousness. Excitedly awaiting the arrival of something. Like the expression, "Anxiously awaiting the arrival of..."
   What's my point? Well here it is. Maybe there is value in having good Anxiousness. Anxiously await on God to do something crazy in your life. Or just anxiously await on Him. Be excited about what is happening in your life. I know I am. And as for the wedding this evening, I still can't wait!

Grace and Peace

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What Is my Identity?

  This past week and a half has proven to be more difficult then I thought it would be. As you know I hurt my foot, and even though it seems I should have recovered by now I have not. I have been struggling so much with just letting my foot heal in it's own time. Being a stay at home Mom means that there are certain things that are my responsibilities to get done every day. Spending quality time with Ava, cleaning, cooking, basically making sure our home continues to run smoothly. But unfortunately I haven't been able to do those things, well, I've been trying but they aren't being done well. The past few days have been the worst. I have been feeling grumpy and down on myself and I didn't know how to explain it to Daniel. Then last night It hit me, I figured out a way to express myself.
    I explained it to him like this, " Daniel, It would be like you spraining your wrist and not being able to type, talk on the phone, or play music. (Three things that his jobs entail) And you just had to stay home and sit, even though the other 98% of you feels great. You would miss out on work, not get paid, and get behind on the things you need to do." He got it. I think I got it. lol. I realized as I was telling him how I felt that I have completely wrapped my Identity in being a Mom and Homemaker. Sure, there are other things I'm good t and like doing, but my main focus is being a mom and homemaker.
   I've been angry with God because I feel like He hasn't healed me fast enough. However, I'm starting to see that the bigger picture is finding my true identity in something eternal. Him. So God, keep me in pain until I get it. I want to make sure that this isn't a superficial change, but a long lasting one. My identity is in you.

Grace and Peace

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Thanks for checking out my blog. The writings found on these pages are just sincere thoughts, questions, and feelings I have about life, God, and banana slugs.