Thursday, February 5, 2009

Living In Love

This morning on our way to work Daniel and I drove by a car with a sticker on the back window that read,
"Live in Love". We both agreed that it was a cool sticker. But after the car was long gone, there was still something left lingering in my head... I wondered if the sticker was in reference to 1 John 4:16 "...God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in Him."
Daniel and I memorized a chunk of 1 John 4 when we were dating, and that verse was in there. I have forgotten most of what we memorized, except for that verse. It always felt so sweet to say. Almost like you were getting a taste of what it would be like if you did Live in Love.
I began thinking about that statement, Living in Love, and whether or not I am. I instantly went with a "NO" because I think I was trying to be Humble. Who I was trying to impress I don't know, maybe the narrator in my head. Then I truly thought about it, and I concluded on a "Sometimes". I am not quick to love people. People are frustrating for me. I am someone who truly enjoys being alone. Sitting in busy places is fun, then I can just watch people and the strange things they do. I like to go to the Movies alone, which is sad for Daniel. I realized that when it was convenient for me I was Loving. Sometimes I walk by a homeless person and think, "What's your story? What's your name? I have no money, but i have a granola bar and some time. Can i sit and talk with you?" Other times i think, " Lazy! You don't even look homeless, you must be scamming me. I don't feel bad for you, you can get a job."
I used to make the excuse of being emotional, and as my emotions changed, so did my response to things. But now i see that it was just a poor attempt to justify my lack of Love for people. Jesus probably had days where He was feeling emotional, but I highly doubt that made him walk by a Widow, Prostitute, or Paraplegic, and not Love them and help them.
The hardest part of this Jesus inspired revelation is the self reflection that comes along with it. Realizing the people I have not been loving, and the instances where I was not showing Love. It's easy for me to use my desire to be introverted as a scape goat for not showing Love. Feeling like I am entitled to be quite and not talkative because I like having silence. It's not about me though. It's not about what Samantha wants, it's about how Samantha can make someone feel Loved even if she doesn't want to. It's about trying to grasp the Jesus concept that other people come first, that we are less then others. Selflessness. I know it's something that I need to work on, and I am realizing this isn't going to be one of those realizations you have that you never put into action. Becuase if I am not living in Love, than I am not living in God, and I am terrified of that thought. I don't ever want to see or experience what life would be like not Living in God and His Grace.

1 comment:

Mom said...

I remember a little girl who was very quick to love people. She didn't get frustrated at all, just kept asking them questions, which must have frustrated these people. She would talk to strangers, listen intently to anyone who wanted to tell her a story and immediately respond with another story of her own. This little girl loved people. She had no bubble. Her bubble was the world and she wanted to see it, feel it and explore it. This little girl started talking at 2 weeks. She would see a face and start a conversation. No one knew what it meant, it was just sounds and facial expressions. But her desire to connect with people was there from birth. As this little girl got older, her poor parents couldn't keep her quiet. In the store, at the mall, one time at a movie theater. They didn't see many movies together after that. This little girl just wanted to share. Her parents think it was because when she was born they could see God's joy shining from her. They say it was almost something you could touch. The joy in this little girls heart just kept growing and growing and she just had to talk and talk and talk to everyone, or the joy would just explode out of her. She wanted so much to share that she would have friends over to her house just so she could give them something to take home with them. This little girl loved being with people and the people loved being with her. She brought them joy and laughter and showed them God's love. I hope this little girl is still sharing all that joy God blessed her with at birth. It would be sad to think that people are missing out on seeing the face of God.

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